the good life = living simply

It is funny how, if you let it, a new environment can open your eyes to see things in yourself and your life in a completely different light. It is good to get away from time to time just to get some perspective. I love it when this happens. When suddenly a light goes on and you can see a situation or problem like you never have before. And it suddenly makes so much sense. Not too long ago I wrote a bit about my search for simplicity. A slippery little thing it is, and hard to grasp firmly, especially in the midst of somewhat-ordered chaos. But living away from home in this small (compared to our house) apartment without the clutter of my usual daily life, I see how desperately I need a change. I always think the change I need is to get out of the Valley, but now I see that it is much deeper.

This is one of the things that I've learned from being in Memphis so far:

I don’t need near as much stuff as I think I do. Having more than I need just complicates my life. The more stuff I have, the more time I have to spend cleaning, organizing, and taking care of it. The parts about my daily life that frustrate me most (piles of laundry and dishes that are never ending; toys, papers, and books everywhere all the time, no matter how I try to organize; the tremendous amount of time that feels wasted every day just keeping up the household) are bad only because I have so much to take care of. The level of frustration I get from the things I need to do daily is directly proportional to the amount of stuff I have.

Less stuff I own = less time I have to spend taking care of it = more time I have to do the things I want to do.

I don’t need more time in the day, I need less stuff to take care of. Coming to Memphis, we brought a limited amount of clothing, but instead of creating more laundry rewashing the same clothes like I thought it would, we actually have less laundry to pile up. Three or four loads and everything in the house is clean. I keep asking myself: do we really need 5 choices of cereal in the pantry? Five baskets overflowing with toys for just one kid? Five bookshelves filled with many books I am certain I will never read again? 2000+ square feet of tile that needs sweeping daily? Cabinets full of art supplies that I only use once a year, maybe? And I am not a pack-rat; I love getting rid of old stuff. But still I hang onto many things because I may possibly need them someday. So now I'm asking myself: is having to pay for and maintain a bigger house and more storage space really better than having to repurchase something in the small possibility that I will suddenly need it again? It seems like I am spending more money for a mortgage on a bigger house and utilities alone just to hold onto stuff I rarely need than it would take to occasionally repurchase something. And that's not even considering the time it takes me to keep it all from taking over the whole house.

Most people I know up-size with each house they buy, which makes sense as a family grows. But how much of that extra space we think we need will just be filled with more stuff leaving us needing more? I mean how many people do you know that park their car outside in the elements because the garage is being used as storage? Umm, me! Now I'm thinking that when we get home, I want to get rid of it all, sell the house and buy a smaller one. I want to spend less time maintaining and more time doing the things I enjoy. I'm thinking that's one reason being here has felt so much like an extended vacation.

What do you think? Isn't this something we all wrestle with in one way or another? Do you have any tips for me on the logistics of down-sizing and getting the kids on board with it?

Comments

[Mystele]

Oh, I needed to hear this today. This has been on my mind, too, for a few months now. We've begun some changes, but it IS slippery. Thank you for putting your thoughts out there and encouraging me to die another small death to consumerism so that I might truly live more fully and know the Truth. Freedom - not chains.

[amy]

I love this post. And I agree with it. The more stuff you have the more time it takes to take care of it. And bigger isn't better. I really need to zen-ify again and just throw stuff out or give it away. I think of earlier times in the 1900s when women cleaned and did laundry for 10 kids and then I realize oh well they only had one or two outfits each so really it's the same as a family of 3 nowadays. I like the idea of getting rid of all the crap and keeping only the things you really love. And you make room for nice things that you will treasure not "stuff" you buy when it's on sale. Very important topic this time of year too.

[Debra]

Gorgeous picture!
Woo I think everyone can relate with your fab post, well definitely crafting parents anyway!
I now have a good sized studio to use since immigrating to NZ from England - I had the dining table before!! But I swear I had more ideas and saw them through with less frustrations because of not using up my mountain of fabrics and other arty stuff!
So, yes you're right on recognising that we just want bigger to fill it up and make us feel even more muddled! It'll take me a few years to use up everything but I'm going to give it a try and then slowly I'll be down-sizing ha.

[Michelle]

I think you are absolutely right!

A few years ago my DH lost his job and we were faced with the possibility of moving across the country and trading 2400 sf for 1000 sf (if we were lucky). I spent that summer clearing out, looking at each thing and deciding if it was worth moving across country. I got rid of so much! DH found a job locally, but it felt so good and I am ready to do it again!

I gave a lot of stuff away through freecycle.org - many people glad to have what I no longer needed.

To get my kids on board, we have found a charity that is dear to us, and we donate their stuff. It helps them to let go when they know they are helping someone else. The younger you start with this - the easier it gets when they're older.

Best wishes!!!

[Bev]

Loved this post. In fact, it touched a real nerve, and I quoted and linked to you in my blog this morning.

Seems it is an issue for a lot of us (but somehow I never hear a guy talk about it -- perhaps because its we women that must DEAL with all this stuff -- including theirs!)

I'll be watching with interest to see if you find answers which I'm hoping to borrow!

[Gwen]

Boy, I really needed to hear this. My husband and I sold our house two years ago, out of necessity, and moved into a 2 bedroom apartment. We had been in that house for 24 years, and the amount of stuff we had accumulated, even with frequent weedings, was incredible.
We HAD to downsize, and at first it felt very liberating, but our collecting habits soon took over again, and now we feel crowded, and have been thinking about moving to a larger apt.
Your post has made me think about the wisdom of this, do we need more space, or less stuff?

[Shani Thomas]

Amen! I'm with you on this one. Stuff, stuff, stuff!!! When is enough ever enough? And at what point does what we "own" begin to own us?!

[Tinuviel]

Hallelujah! Sister.
It's so true and never more apparent for moi than at the Holiday time of year. "I don't want anything for Christmas!!" And no one believes me. *Sigh*

[sk]

love this post - this is along the lines I think of often. Dan Ho is an inspiration in this regard. There's was an article on him in the new york times where he explains his philosophy on living life with less.