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Last week my husband had a conversation with a medical student who was in town with a Summer medical missions group working in Matamoros. These students are from all over the country with maybe half of them from Philadelphia and we look forward to getting together with people from outside the Valley, you know, from the real world. Since we have lived here, we have made an unusual number of friends who are doctors or who are going through their residency in the Valley. It is probably because we feel like such outsiders ourselves that we gravitate toward people who are like us--not from the Valley or from more urban areas. Anyway, we always find we have alot in common with these students even though most of them we have never met or only see once a year. So, John was talking to one of these students about what we do, what she does, what she will do after school, etc. and she was telling us about her belief that being a doctor is her calling in life. When John told her I stayed home with the kids, her comment was (predictably), "I could never stay home all day and do nothing." My sweet husband followed up with, "You could if it was your calling."

Now, all stay-at-home moms hear things like this all the time, but this time I realized something I hadn't before. It is not that this educated young woman actually thinks that stay-at-home moms don't do anything all day, it is that she equates the value of being a stay-at-home mom to be the same as doing nothing. Nothing valuable, anyway.

Well, today this stay-at-home mom had a pretty productive day. Besides a little laundry, I actually ironed 4 of my honey's shirts--I hate ironing unless it is freshly washed fabric yardage--worked on some mailart and cooked dinner. Best of all, I drew up the pattern for the tote bag swap I am in and started cutting the fabric. I'm pretty sure my partner doesn't read my blog, but just in case I can only give you a peek of the work in progress.

The shell rings may or may not be added to the final bag, hopefully I can work everything in. My partner is a bit of a romantic. She describes her taste as "time worn elegance".  I think I nailed it, but there is still a lot of work to be done. I am head over heels in love with the fabric, trim and notions for the bag, so I'm super excited about getting started. Tomorrow's work will be to finish cutting the fabrics for the bag and accessories, to fuse the interfacing, and start working on the little details. I love my life. I can't imagine there being anything I'd rather do.

Comments

[Dawn]

I think your husband is right that staying home with your children is a calling. I do not at all regret the time I spent at home with my sons. They have grown into wonderful men. It was well worth my time to be there with them when they were young.

[Kira]

First, yay for your husband! *G* And raising children is a VERY hard job....so many people don't realize that, nor do they give stay at home mom's credit!

I only work a few hours a day because of my FMS, and for awhile, felt like a failure because I thought staying at home was a waste. Now, I see it as a blessing -- it gives me time to do art and to write.

*G*

[amy]

You are an artist and a stay at home mom and a teacher to your little one and so much more! I love staying home and I know that I am making a different in our daughter's life. Raising children is a full-time job and then some. :)

[Nicole S]

I love your husband's response that young woman. This IS your calling, and maybe she's just a little green with envy that it's not hers, too. You really are blessed and it's great that you don't take that for granted. Mom's have the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world and I give all my respect to the women that choose to make it their life's focus.

[debtrotter]

Ah, the delusions of youth! I am sure the young woman in question thinks "staying at home with the kids" is a totally useless, unfulfilling, stagnant "job." If she only knew! You know, my head was once in the same place as hers, but now I know better. Such is the position of age & experience. What would have been even better would to have been to tell her you are an ARTIST. That would have really blown her mind. And by the way, I can't wait to see the handbag - I love the materials you have chosen. Your "partner" will be overjoyed from the looks of it!

Deb

[Sami]

Oh! I thought the same thing that Deb thought: ah, the delusions of youth! I can remember thinking something very similar in my youth. Heh, heh, heh - if only I could meet my former self and give her a STERN talking to...

Do people who say things like "stay home and do nothing" have any idea how difficult it is be to take care of a home, a spouse, a child (or children), and oneself all at the same time? Cuz, let's face it, it's the all-at-the-same-time bit that's the tricky bit, innit? Do the same people who think that being a stay-at-home parent is easy also think that being an artist is an easy life? Oooh, wait - this is really funny - I wonder if those same people think that being a stay-at-home parent AND an artist is easy? SHRIEK! Oh, that's funny, that is. Pardon me while I sit here and cackle to myself for a few minutes...

[Pilar]

Ignorance is bliss, to be wise is to folly. I don't understand why complete strangers think they have the right to comment on something they do not know one thing about or make such a judgement. I say bravo to your dh for his comeback. I won't bore you with the details, but there are some feminist, who believe such attitudes are a mimic of a patriarchical mind sets. I have been taking care of my 4 month old niece part time for two months and I really do not know how you do all the stuff you do with two kids and a hubby. I am sure your tote partner will love your creation. I hope you will share pics when you have it finished.:D

[Lisa Gallup - Spirit Thing Studio]

I get the same type of comments about homeschooling ~ "I could NEVER stay home with my kids ALL DAY LONG." I like the response your hubby gave! It's perfect!

[patty van dorin]

Have I told you how much I love this self portrait stencil! I love it!!!!!!!!!!
great page.

[littledresses]

Way to go hubby! A lady at a heirloom sewing shop asked me the other day, after I told her I homeschool, If I had a college education (in a very smart tone!). I was proud to answer YES, but her next remark was something like "all that education wasted". How dumb she sounded! First, she thought you have got to have a college education to teach a child to read. Then, when she finds out I have one, she feels it is wasted on MY OWN CHILDREN! I was a nurse at Childrens Hospital before I had children. I loved my job,But I would not trade THIS job for nothing!

[sharon]

I totally applaud your DH for his quick answer to the know it all young lady, wait until she gets a little older and wiser! I just babysat our first grandkid and I have no kids of my own and let me just say, SAHMs rock. We all should have the benefit and love of a Mom who would love no job better than that. You're a great soul Deb and the answers some nosy people give like to people like the gal littledresses above just rock my socks off, I think the lady was jealous she had the degree and was a SAHM...what a sourpuss, maybe she was annoyed that she was working in her retirement and not able to play BINGO at the VFW hall with her friends. Hee hee.

[Allie]

I'm jealous of the freedom in your life, and creativity in excess which you seem to posess, no doubt in part from being a stay at home mother! I have found your blog (love it by the way!) and just wanted to leave you a note to let you know some of us young student "future career woman" types do have a good understanding of ev-ery-thing you do, in such a selfless way! I know personally I would be terrible at it. :) ignore all the nay-sayers and keep on with it honey !